Let me introduce myself.
My name is Louise. I work as a graphic designer. I’ve been married for seven years and my husband has recently qualified as a personal trainer. From the age of fifteen, I followed a vegetarian diet, with shocking results. I developed an eating disorder and shrunk to a skeletal frame.
So what is point of this blog? I am now ‘recovered’ and enjoy the best of health. About two years ago I discovered the amazing benefits of adding animal fats and proteins back into my diet. I am at a slim, healthy weight, am fitter than ever, have lots of energy and rarely get sick. I no longer have guilt feelings when I eat and I’m stable and happy instead of suicidal.
Simply put, people can get sucked down into the black hole of food obsession and I want to share my experiences to save them from the heartache.
Here’s an example of the twisted thinking I used to perpetuate on ‘pro-ana’ websites. This is just before my slide into the abyss.
“Well I have done it!Got through today - day three, the only things I ate were my soups, water, tea and coffee, I also had two crackers and half a carrot.”
I REALLY wanted to eat today. But after three days of fasting, I’m starting to feel fuller than ever when I eat my soup. I think my stomach has shrunk. My tummy is flatter already and I’ve just started breaking out. Sucks, but it’s a good sign that my body is cleaning itself and detoxifying. I’ve had a bad headache today as well, which is also a sign things are changing inside me.”
I’m looking forward to tomorrow, my hunger levels should dip down then, it’s been pretty tough!”
This is a new me! I even cleaned out the fridge and tossed all the bad food that tempts me usually, I just threw it all away. I’m not going to let it back in the door.”
So ATM I’m probably eating under 200 cals from this diet. I’m trying to avoid all solid foods, and mainly drinking low cal liquids. Been a bit hit and miss with my vitamins though! Whoops. Gotta get on top of that.”
I resisted a lemon meringue tart today!!!!!!!! A girl at my work bought them in from the bakery, they were so cute! I said no. I am so proud of myself, I have a MEGA sweet tooth, if anything is going to tempt me to break my fast it’s sweets.”
Should I get my hair cut or dyed? To symbolise this new direction? I’m thinking about it. Meanwhile… I know I said I wasn’t going to but I took a sneaky peak at my weight this morning…. I’m down 2lbs already. But I’ll save it for day 14 for the grand reveal!!!!!!”
Having enjoyed life-changing benefits in my own life, I want to help others. I’m currently searching for a nutrition qualification that will enable my to consult in conjunction with my husband’s training business but that teaches principles in line with WAPF. It’s proving very difficult so far, but I’ll keep you posted.
I’d love to hear from others who have had similar experiences, how they have overcome their ED’s or if you are suffering from an ED right now. Together let’s educate and support one another to become healthy and happy.
– Lou
About the Author...
I've finally overcome my destructive eating habits by learning to accept myself, applying the WAPF nutritional principles daily. I'm now at a stable, healthy, slim weight, have lots of energy and no more guilt. I've been happily married for 7 years and am a graphic designer. In the near future I'm hoping to start a nutritional course and start practicing as a qualified nutritionist. At the moment it's all self education.
May 4th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
Welcome to the community Louise. Thanks for joining us. My, what a journey you’ve been on. Can you tell us about the length of time each of your stages occurred? When did you start to turn around and how long did it take you to eat normally again? How long did it take you to feel as though you’ve fully recovered? Would you say that vegetarianism lead to to become psychologically damaged, causing your eating disorder or was vegetarianism a symptom of your eating disorder? Forgive my curiosity. These are questions I’ve always wanted to ask.
May 4th, 2008 at 9:49 pm
Hi louise, thanks for being so brave and couragous to share your story. I too, had anerexia and bulimia throughout my teens, and understand the darkness and shame they entail. It was horrible time of my life, but in hindsight, i can now see the gift in them. Without them I would not be on the path I am today, a never ending quest to nourish y mind and body the best i possibly can, and eventualy also support other people who are going through it. I am now studying counselling and am loving it, and i hope to combine it with my knowledge in nutrition in the future.
best if luck with finding a course that suits you and educating others :)
May 5th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
Thank you Joanne and Sophie for your comments.
I’d like to say, I’m not brave, just tired of the taboo surrounding eating disorders. I hope that by my open discussion more people can heal and recover from their own food issues. I totally agree Sophie, that my experiences have set me on the right path. Although, I hope that others don’t have to go through the hurt that I did to get here!
As for your questions Joanne, I’ll dissect them one by one in a new post. There’s quite a few! :)
May 7th, 2008 at 6:41 am
Wow Sophie. Thankyou for your honesty. Those journal entries are so insightful. I also began going down the path of an ED after being a vegetarian and then vegan for a few years. It was the grace of God that saved me when I felt strongly impelled to give up being a vegetarian, even though it was all I knew. After a rough journey of PND and then CFS, I am now growing stronger and healthier each day. Thank the Lord for the Weston A Price Foundation too!!!
Katrina.